Moody Day

Sometimes I realize I can turn into another person all of the sudden...
One minute I was talking happily, laughing out loud like a mad person...
Another minute I can turn into a moody, quiet and just sit down in silence the whole night.
I really don't know what's wrong with me. I know they felt it, but I just don't know what's got into me. Out of the sudden, I'm feeling really, really moody. I didn't feel like going home, I wanted to sit there the whole night through. I want to hear them sing. Their singing makes me feel better.
I feel like crying right now. All the bad things are filling up my head. I can't help it. They just kept coming.

I know, human are not lucky forever. Lucky moments happen only once or twice. Some dreams do come true. But some dreams don't. The more you want it to happen, the more it won't. Work hard for it? No, sometimes somethings you can't work for it. If it doesn't come true, it just doesn't. Full stop. Perhaps it's fate. Give and take. You have to give up something to take something in return. Nothing is free in this world.

Sometimes, even I am surprise of myself. People often say that I'm not my age. (Indirectly - mature, literally - I'm old looking =_=") I can advice people, i can comfort people, I can be sooooo patient, sitting down and be a good listener. But when the 'empty' feeling comes, I turn weak. Weaker than anyone that I know, even weaker than how i expect myself to be. Speaking of expect, I guess I always become sad because I expected too much. Wait, rephrase it, i ALWAYS expect too much. From myself, my family, my friends, my... whoever...

I can be very positive thinking at times... However, I can be very negative at times too... I'm always scared. Scared of doing things. Scared of failing. Scared of disappointing other people. Scared of hurting others. Argh...


虽然我没有爱情，可是我有亲情，友情，好心情，热情与好感情。

虽然我没有男朋友，但是我有好朋友，女朋友，普通朋友，家人亲戚朋友。

虽然我没有恋人的心，但我有人家对我的诚心，同情心，爱心，信心，好心。

不够好吗？

~算了吧，就这样算了吧，该放就放，再想也没有用~