Dilemma

Wow, it's been a week since I last blogged. Well, that's long enough for me. Been busy recently. Obviously, semester 2 has just started. The mood to study is not back yet. Nothing goes inside my mind, i can't even pay attention in class. But time pass by soooooooooo slowwww. And I was also busy with work. Yes, back to working part time in Zen. Sigh, it's tiring to work and study at the same time, do you know that?

Been wondering after watching a program... what's the definition of beautiful? How about good looking? What's the border of good and bad then? Define ugly then? Different individuals have different opinions on all these adjectives. You might think she's pretty and your friends might not. Well, don't have to care about what other people think ok? Because you are the one choosing, not your family or friends or whatsoever.

Nothing is fair in this world I realize. Nobody is 100% nice to you. Again, don't expect too much from the people around you. And never to fully believe anyone in this world at all. Trust me, if not you'll end up getting hurt so much.

I guess I'm not much a good person after all. I tend to be the bad person always. Hurting people, giving people problems, making a lot of mistakes, annoying people for god knows what reason.

Suddenly I feel like telling a story...

He and she knew each other in 1994. They were studying in the same class, for 3 years. Being innocent little kids, they were just classmates. 1995, it was recess time right after their P.E. class. He and she were in the class packing the things before going for recess. He accidentally hit her with the P.E. shirt. And she cried. The girl's friend scolded him, and the boy said something that shocked the girl. "If I ever hit her again, I'll be banged down by a train." These words were carved in the girl's heart since then. But, no one knew that the feeling she had for him began way before that incident.

Nothing happened since then. They continued on as friends. 1996, both went to different classes. They did not talk to each other since then. Not even a chance to see each other, somehow. 1997, he was a helper for the choir the girl was in, and it was awkward for both of them. And, after exams that year, they walked past each other, but both looked on the floor and not uttering hi/bye. Someone told her he was seeing someone else. She did not say anything but just act as if it's nothing. They left school. She sometimes get news about him through someone, and she tried writing him a letter. But there was no reply. Most probably the letter did not reach him. 3 years later, they coincidently studied in the same tuition center. But she was too shy to even look at him.

4 years later, they managed to get each other's contact through the Internet. They were happy to be able to talk to each other. And she confessed to him, not expecting any reply. But he said he felt the same for her too. Although nothing happened between them, but no matter what, no matter when, this story will always be the most memorable story for her. Even though she did not ask about the gf rumour.

~ If only I can be in 2 places at one time ~
~ If only you're here to tell me what to do ~