Sigh...

Sigh!

What a way to begin my posting.

I dont know what's wrong with me. I'm supposed to be getting more and more excited for the festive, but this in turn caused me to be more and more emo, nervous, scared, worried, stressed!

Worried that I let down everyone, moreover myself; Scared that I can't do everything in time; Nervous that things will not turn out as it is; Yeah yeah, expect the unexpected but... sigh, I know, I know, I'm giving too much pressure and expected too much of my own. But that's what it's all about isn't it? If you can't surpass one's own boundary, you can't beat others. But I'm not that strong-willed, I just wish to go with the flow in life, ordinarily, plainly, normally, whatever you call it.

Sometimes I just wonder what's life all about. Sometimes I ask myself am I really happy. I doubt anyone can be really happy with all they have currently, not wanting more, not fearing that what they have will go away one day.

I'm having the feeling that things don't seem smooth going from now on. *sobz* I'm just scared something *unhealthy* will happen (touch wood). Guess I must be extremely careful (and pray more).