Thursday, December 04, 2008

Nervous and Anxious

Gan jiong gan jiong! I don't know what am I nervous for. But i'm seriously anticipating Danny's show on Friday. Can't wait! It feels like the show is tomorrow! As a matter of fact, it is! It's almost 3am now, Thursday. Yeah yeah, I should tell myself expect the unexpected. I'm expecting him to play the piano, but sources said he's not. I'm expecting him to do a GOOD show healthily! *namo namo* Let's hope history doesn't repeat itself again. I... guess we shouldn't expect much from just a one hour show. wtf.

Watched Madagascar 2 just now. It's funny!! More funny than touching. Still prefer the 1st one though. I like Alakay (as in baby Alakay), Mort, King Julien, the penguins, and of course Moto Moto! Wahahahaha! Lol! There's a lot of coming soon movies that I wanna watch!! Hotel For Dogs, Bedtime Stories.

Sigh, I'm back to my anxious self again. Emo, yes. I dreamt really funny things these few days. I dreamt of dinosaurs, I dreamt of holding a gun, firing it; I dreamt of killing someone and also saving someone. Can anyone analyse them for me. I seemed to disagree a lot with other people's ideas, I complain a lot about other people's work, speaking and thinking negative of anyone and anything...

Having a break so long is meant for me to find out what I really want to do, but, I still don't. Honestly, every time the issue of 'work' comes up, avoid is what I do best. I keep quiet, I walk away, I answer with words I never decided actually. Many said the first job is not important. It's just as an experience. If you don't like, then get a new one. Seriously, I envy those who enjoyed their first job. My perception is, I have to get a job that I will like. Which, I doubt it will happen, yet I still holding on to believe it. And again, 我不敢踏出第一步. I'm the type who easily fall into a dilemma situation, and I admit I'm greedy. Greedy in the sense that, I want both career and freedom, which is quite impossible to get in the hospitality industry, moreover in the operations side. I can't afford to lose my 'entertainment and leisure freedom' and time with my family and friends. It's what you have to sacrifice, but I can't. Not yet. Sigh!

Browsed through my photo albums with a friend last night. Those were the days, my friend. I missed those times. Those smiles. Those sincerity. Those innocence.

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