Can I?

There's many things I can do,
but I did not take action,
there's even more things I SHOULD do,
but somehow I failed to,
all I do is disappoint people,
especially my parents.

Life is about making decisions,
when you took the road,
one shall not regret the road not taken,
but have you wonder,
what if I took the other road?
What will happen?
Will it be better?

Different paths laid in front of me,
too many to choose from,
weighing what's good and not,
what if i travelled this and the others are somehow better?
what if i walked on and regret in the end?
Each path has its own temptations,
its own pros and cons,
different parts of my mind wants different roads,
instead of chances,
it became dilemmas.
The biggest of all, is the one least important,
yet, difficult to resist, hard to let go,
delayed, losing strength, determination falling apart,
faith is no longer in my hands,
self esteem shattered into pieces.

I have not found my rod,
but I'm still being fed with fishes daily,
what can be a wise decision when one is blurred with dilemmas?
Guidance is given, yet the path is in one's hand,
One choose their destiny, their future,
but what IS the destiny, what IS the future?
I can't think,
I don't know,
I'm unsure of.