No Title

Can't seem to find the word I want for the title of this post. I feel so... pointless, hopeless, stuck, blunt... I can't find the exact word to explain how I'm feeling right now. Been thinking a lot quite lately. And it's all related to my studies, my future career.

This will bore you guys. But heck, i just want to express how I'm feeling right now.

Was chatting with pokok Chunyiun yesterday and started talking about studies and work. At times, I sort of regret taking up degree currently. Management and theoretical studies were never part of my interest. But people always say, without a degree how can you survive? I agree. Employers nowadays look at your qualification when they hire people. But hey, tonnes of people out there without a degree qualification made it big out there. So what if you have a degree? You still have to start from the bottom. And I somehow feel that to success in the working industry, one needs to be creative, to be able to face challenges, good talking skills. I seriously don't think I have any of those elements. I admit I have a bit of the brains, yeah, I get quite good results but hey, it's all memorizing. I doubt I'll ever put them to use in the future. Sigh.

It's quite difficult when you have a mum who thinks much differently than you. She wants you to go overseas, wants you to be successful so that she is proud of you. But I'm not the type of person who will strive to achieve success! I'm just an ordinary person who wants an ordinary and happy job with a stable income, that's all! I don't want to compete with other people. I don't want to be compared. I guess it's all about the fears in me. The lack of confidence. In the modern society, teamwork is very important. But I am an individualistic person I would say. I often prefer working on my own. But of course, if I can get along very well with a group, I will give out my 100% to the group. Many people often say I'm just too scared to try. I admit. I'm always scared. Fear of the future, fear of people, fear of myself, fear of failure, fear of talking, fear of anything and everything. Listening to what the lecturers said about the quality of employees the industry need, I lagi scared.

But no matter what, I have to make my decision. There are choices, and I have to choose the one that means the most to me. Sigh. God, help me. I'm 'stranded'. I seriously feel like it's the end of the world.

Anyway, parents went Cambodia few weeks ago and bought some 6 Nike shirts and 1 pants for me. Same design, different colours haha.


Life is so full of happiness and sorrows. I must learn to live happily each day.

.I hope I can win.

Long posting.

28th July 2007

Went out with Ching, Anju and Ria to Bangsar for brunch. The person who ask me not to wake up late ended up waking up late. They were suppose to go threading but ended up didn't so we just went for makan. Before we enter Nirvana (no we didn't die, it's a curry house), we were stopped by these 2 ladies from a slimming/beauty center. They started promoting this special card thingy they have which they only give 12 people today and we're so lucky bla bla bla. They were saying with RM29.90 you can enjoy RM600 worth of services, and we can make appointment before we go. I was a bit suspicious then but end up putting away the thought. They then write down our details and give us the promotion card. Another suspicious thing is they used whiteboard marker to write on the card which can be easily wiped off. And they asked for the RM29.90. WTF! All of us thought we can pay when we go to the place but they said no, must pay now. Thank god Anju sort of scolded them and they walked away. But I was so scared they'll scratch Ria's car as they saw us coming out from our car.

Lesson learned: Never believe all these unknown beauty/slimming centers.

Then, at 4pm ML, Szen, PK and I left for Batang Kali for a GBBM event. Got W.H.Y., Gary Yap, Nick Chung, Stella Chung and Danny One *lub*! We used the Bkt Beruntung way, luckily it was ML driving, if not I would have got lost in some jungle nearby. There's one part where the view was superb. On the left were vege farms and on the left were mountains and hills.


When we reach, we were quite early as the girl I deal with, Alycia wasn't there yet. So I called her and she suggest we go have early dinner nearby at Ligamas. So we went and had some makan at Restoran Chuang Kee. Just some random restaurant we found.

They have this dragon fruit juice. Never tried before so ordered 1. Nice :) Refreshing and sweet. We also had loh mee, kao yuk yee mee, fried fu chuk and fish paste. A diff style loh mee, so so only to me.


Coincidently Pei San was having dinner there as well with her family. So after dinner we went to the school together. Only half the chairs were filled at 7.30pm, I was quite disappointed at first. Then when the event began, more people came and it was damn happening after that. The teenagers there are crazy! They can whistle from the beginning of the show till the end and not feeling tired! And they group together and waved and cheered like nobody's business. Annoying but it definitely hype up the atmosphere. There was only one person I can't stand. Yellow-shirt girl. Curse u to death. Sakai.

.The Kay-eLLe clan.

First was W.H.Y., then Stella, then Nick, then Gary and lastly Danny *lub*! They sang 5 songs each. They were selling their albums at the event as well. Guess it's part of the charity for the association. Danny sang Yin Wei You Ai (DANNY'S VERSION) I think he's used to Daniel's version he sort of forgot his own song's tune :p Oops; Lian Ai Le; Love And Freedom; Wai Hor Xiong Tai Dor; and Siapa. He said 'Now, I want to speak, i count to 3, everybody keep quiet, 1,2,3' (Breeeeeeeeeeeet!) 'I said keep quiet... 1,2,3' (Breeeeeeeet) Not us ok, is those people there. 'Aiyo, tak faham ar? haha!' Cute la he *lub*.

I love this pic a lot. Don't know why.

After that there were autograph session. Gary and Danny. Album sales was erm... OKAYH lah. 4 of us bought an album each. ML and Szen wanted to get me 'something' which they thought I didn't know but I knew it since the beginning. ML and Szen, very thoughtful of you guys, thanks but no thanks. That 'someday' is two months away okayh. Actually I should be happy for that 'something', but somehow I felt angry. Don't ask me why. I don't know either. I nearly cried. I nearly stomped away. I tried snatching the paper away. Maybe it was becuz I knew about it. Danny's love and freedom chorus totally suit me at this moment. Argh, seriously I don't know what's wrong with me. When people don't treat me nice, I don't like it. When people treat me good, I don't like it either. WTF.

.The One That Brightens My Day & Night.

Many things are on my mind now. I think it's time for me to really cut down on my online time. I can basically sit in front of the computer for hours and hours without moving. Even though I'm not doing anything on my comp I can just sit down and stare at it. It has been an addiction. I'm wasting too much time doing nothing. I guess it's better to let go. To least expect anything. To least hope for anything. Currently still addicted to "Cry On My Shoulder". It's such a good song. I can just tear out listening to it. Another song that can make me cry is "Bu Xu Ku" by Meisim. Gosh, the title is Bu Xu Ku (Cannot Cry) but it makes me cry! :'( I wonder if I ever have the chance to hear Danny sing "Cry On My Shoulder" someday. :) Or perhaps Daniel. Or Kwok Fai. Or John. Bahh, let's not hope for the hopeless.

Anyway, guess what time I woke up today? Haha. 3pm oops. Been lacked of sleep the past week and finally replenished it hehe! Yes, I know I'm a pig.

The Person That Brightens My Day <3

Seriously, he's the only one that will brighten up my day when I'm feeling down... Hmm, everything happens just at the right time :) Well, of course I don't know him as friends, I don't chat with him. But sometimes, the things he did just makes me cheer up :) Cheeky him.

210707 - 988 Anniversary Concert :)

Went for SKY last episode premier just now at Izzi Pizza. I 'guong ming jing dai' WON it one, I never cari lubang to get it. Nothing much, all sit down, wait for the artists, watch, sign, eat, leave. I guess I expected too much from the last episode, it wasn't as what I expected it to be. But it was funny though :) And there was this young magician guy came and "entertain" us before the show started. -speechless-

"You look like my first love." (What a way to tackle girls.) But of course, it's not said to me lah.

~ So what if we took pics together? There's a full stop between us. :) ~

Thanks to everyone who has been so nice and helpful to me. Accompanying me when I needed someone, helping me when I need help, cheering me up when I am sad, sharing with me when I'm happy. I've learnt to be grateful to everybody. Each and every one of you means a lot to me. If one day I die (touch wood), please ask my mum for my diary, read about my thoughts and feelings in my life, and there'll be a thank you message to each and everyone of you who had left a footprint on my heart.

Hopeless, useless...

Randoms #13
Totally agree with Soursandy. Silence is virtue. Please think before you talk. Don't complain about other things or other people when you don't even realize that you're doing the same thing. Sigh, how I wish I can tell someone off without offending anybody.

Randoms #14
Why does some people's mouth have to be so big, so 'smelly' and so cruel? Please consider other people's feelings before you say something. Don't you realize that your words are actually hurting other people's feelings? Please don't do unto others what you don't want others to do unto you. When other people say like that to you, you get so angry. But when you say like that to other people, you just laugh thinking it's a joke that everybody can accept. F*ck off.

Randoms #15
The higher you climb, the harder you fall. Again, and again, I try to remind myself not to expect anything. Again and again, I didn't. Again and again, I get disappointed. I know, it's never possible. I seriously wonder if I'm ever someone special to anybody. "Spacial" maybe la. You gave me hope, and took it away from me. Expect the unexpected. Better still, DON'T expect ANYTHING. ANYTHING at all in EVERYTHING.

21/7 - Happy & sad. Frus and syiok. Hmm~

Falling for a stranger. D.E.A.D.
...If only...

[Phood] La La Chong, Subang Terminal 3

Seriously, temptation is always a SIN.
Evil you all for tempting me to try new phood.
Went to La La Chong for seafood @ Terminal 3, Subang with Da Da, Mund Mund, Xiang Xiang, Jian Jian and Mr. WHS.

Kangkung Belacan

Xiong Tong La-La *thumbsup*

Fried Mee Suah

Wet Creamy Butter Crab *thumbs thumbs up* Superb!

Salted Egg Crab - so so only. Prefer Foodland's in Kepong.

Fried Man Tou - Yummy but oily. I had two. It's as big as my fist :)

Overall it's good :) Go there by 7pm to avoid the crowd. Price is reasonable. Our meal was RM25 per person. Food is quick. Didn't have to wait long time for the food.