Saturday, February 02, 2008

是时候计划了

很累。。昨晚才睡了5个小时。。。但是现在却不想睡。
比较想用华文来写这篇文章。发泄一下情绪。
昨天完成了在分店的训练,今天开始放假,到初五才开始在OFFICE/CK开工。

今天,全男班推介礼,齐齐献爱心。
辉少(ERIC)病了,而且很严重,生‘红尘’,但是他还坚持要到场!感动。
顺利地完成了这场活动,虽然不是说很精彩,但是总算做到好看!付出的钱和力都是值得的。
幕后花了很多时间来策划这个组合,在此对世纪音乐的每一位成员致敬!*感动*
玩得开开心心,都不想回家做功课。

也许我太强求了。。。以为自己的说服力不错。
可是大错特错。。。所谓红中一点绿,不适合是注定的。。。
也许他们全部都不喜欢我。觉得我好烦吧!
我现在知道,新加入一个稳固的团体是很难的。
或许他们会觉得我自以为是,自作聪明吧。

写着写着,眼泪不停地流。。。但是父母在我后面,要忍着。
认识了她近半年, 从同一个出发点认识到现在好朋友。
听着她一直以来生活的好与坏,坏多于好,真的是很心疼,很难过。
可是我又不知道可以怎样帮她。
只能陪他一起去’发泄‘咯。
为什么他人可以这样对她。世界上的给予孩子的爱心与关怀去了哪里?
明白单亲家庭出来是不好过,你放心,我家的门为你而开。

我又来了。。现在全部情绪参在一起,很烦恼啊!
做的东西,不比他们做的好。
给得东西,又不比他们好。
付出,能得到回报吗?需要吗?人家看到你的好吗?
你真的是好吗?他们真的会觉得你好吗?
你做的了多少?给的了多少?知道的又是多少?
反而之后会想更多,希望得更多,却得到失望。
人家’识你是老鼠‘吗?
你又不是他的谁,管你去死。
也许我在乎太多,想得太多了。

开始去想很多东西。。。尤其是自己的未来。。。
身为长女,不能再玩到癫了。
接下来10年,20年,都需要我去工作,赚钱。
爸妈就快退休了,弟弟还小,谁来供他读书如果不是我呢?
妈要我再读,去享受一下,不要那么快工作。
但是,我真的很怕有什么事会发生呢。。
我到底做得到吗?赚到吗?唉。。。

~ I hope I can just fade away.

2 comments:

Shin Sar said...

Thanks to babelfish.altavista.com. I think I know what you are trying to say here. The main thing I understand was, this is a SECRET! Haha.

It's like that. The older you are, the more responsible you carry. There are so many things you need to think of and consider. Family, financial, work, friends, colleagues, social life, etc.

But as you go along, you won't really feel it, until you sit down and think about it.

Just let it happen naturally. Don't stress up. And pray for the best.

And another thing, just ignore those people who don't appreciate you. Don't waste your time on them and upset about it. There are still a lot of people out there who appreciate your friendship, and will always stand by your side, people like pokok, hutan and 3fs. *^_^*

And have faith in yourself. You've come so far. After 21 years, you still doubt whether you can survive in this crazy world? Too late to doubt. Just continue to fight for the future!! TEG will always be with you ;)

rachteng said...

So stupid of me to write in your chat box when I can comment here. HAHAHA. When i was about to write the second kerat of the comment in the cbox, i just realized that i can actually comment here.

anyway as i was saying, everyone has different type of backgrounds lor. Not like you can do anything. Its the parents who are giving them the very superbly unhealthy lifestyle which I myself too disagree about it. (:

I guess when you are the eldest in the family, you'll have more things to take care of. More things to be worried of. More money is gonna be spent. When your parents retire, who's gonna be the one who will be supporting the family. Definitely will be you. Every thing is on the elder one. Sigh oh sigh.

Anyway, since your mom ask you to continue studying. Do it if you think you still want to study and still have the interest to study. If she insist on you to continue studying, ofcourse she still has the ability to support you. (: cheer up and be strong!

Anyway, don't ask how i understand. I just do :P