Last day of 2011

Here I am sitting at Toast Box MV blogging on the last day of 2011. The mall is crowded with people, almost every shop is having their year end sale, i see boyfriends and husbands standing outside Vincci waiting for their other half doing their shoes shopping :p

How do i feel about 2011? Hmm, it's been tough honestly. Tough in the sense of emotionally. My 2011 was filled with much much emotions, mixtures of complicated feelings. There are good sides of it of course, and bad ones as well.

I experienced new things, such as going for marathons, I visited a new country which is Hong Kong. I am still able to find time to get together with my school and college mates whom we don't get to meet often.


I am grateful that i have friends and family who are very supportive and do include me in many activities. I sometimes do feel that due to my working hours and that i'm not a nice person to hang out with that people wont want to include me in their outings, but i'm grateful that i do get to join them. Thinking too much maybe.


I learned that there are stages in treating your friends, your loved ones and your family. I learned that there are limits, there are gaps, there are things that can be said, things that can't be said. Sometimes, truths are the words that can't be said. And sometimes, people just don't tell what's inside their heart. Express your words to your loved ones before everything becomes too late. Let them know how you feel before you regret.

I learned that health is a very important thing. I see people falling sick very frequently. Please take care of your health because without good health, nothing can be done well.

I learned that if you want to do something, you need to spend time, keep trying, have patience and do it whole heartedly to get the result that you want. I see the way my parents plant the plants in Seremban, they spend hours digging, plucking weeds under the hot sun, wrapping the fruits one by one, separating chicken dungs. They failed at some cuz some of the plants die, but they just shrug it off and plant new ones. Hmm, something to learn.

I learned that some things will never be the same again once it's gone, once you cut the string, it cant be put back together like how it supposed to be. No matter how much you pray or hope. Miracles do not happen, just like fairy tales does not exist in the real world. I learned that envy and jealousy really can kill. It did, it killed me. I've yet to forgive myself, and don't think that I'll be forgiven. Don't deserve anything. Wouldn't ask, couldn't ask. The grass is greener on the other side. I can even envy a girl I don't know on the street, thinking she's so pretty, her body is so nice. We'll never stop wanting to know, wanting to ask, wanting to question, wanting to understand, but often there are things you wouldn't be able to know or understand no matter how much you wish to.

10 years back we asked ourselves during high school how will we be when we're 25. Now that we're 25, we'd rather go back to 10 years ago, and also we wonder what's it gonna be like tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, everyday hoping for a better tomorrow, wishing that we didn't make so much mistakes, didn't caused so much sorrows, hoping that we didn't hurt people so much, wishing it didn't hurt so much as well.

I don't count myself being a good person this year, because I seemed to caused a lot of mistakes, fume and sadness to others. Rather than feeling good, i feel my self esteem went down, a lot. I lost some confidence in myself, in terms of erm... socializing i would say. Sometimes it felt like, everything I do or say seems to be wrong, seems to create anger. Nothing seems right. I need to learn so much more in treating my friends and family good, need to learn so much more not to create sins.

It wasn't a bad year for me, nor very good. There's so much more that I need to learn, that is. A lot a lot a lot a lot to learn. I have to remain 'expect the unexpected'. I have to learn not to expect. I have to learn to be good.

Happy new year to everyone out there. Have a great 2012. May you achieve more. May you be blessed with love, joy, happiness, great health and great wealth always.

-I'm sorry I over reacted, no matter what, just call my name and i'll be there when you needed.
-默默地守护
-Thank you for being in my 2011.

Updates 2011

A year and a half has passed since i last updated my this blog. Last time, it used to be a daily thing to blog, now it's ran into hibernation. Not that I don't online, I still online, but slightly less frequent, and with all the current new things online like voucher buying, online shopping, food blogs hopping, facebooking, there seems to be more things to see in less time =_="

Well, well, what happened to me in the past a year and a half? Hmm, nothing unusual, nothing great, small achievements here and there, and also a lot of ups and downs. A lot of tears but a lot of laughters as well.

Someone once told me that you wouldn't know if you've never been there, you wouldn't understand if you never experience it before. Now i know what he means. You wouldn't know how happy is happy or how sad is sad if something happened more than what you expect, you wouldn't know how much you disappointed others until you heard/saw their thoughts/expression. You wouldn't feel what it's like until you reach that level, whatever level it is.

Last year, I said that I learned a lot. A lot, a lot. This year I learned more and more, a lot a lot a lot a lot. I guess it goes on and on every year. I failed to be good this year, mad at myself for failing what i promised, crossing the border. I caused myself very very unhappy this year, cuz of myself. It was painful, really really painful, was at the edge of breaking down and depression. But luckily things didn't go beyond. I can be very happy at one moment, and then sad the next. People say the past is the past, forget it and move ahead. Not easy for me. Or perhaps all girls will always remember the past, every detail, every word, every piece of memory. Be it a good memory or a bad memory. People say forgive and forget, i don't know if i'm forgiven or not, but i guess no matter what, scars always remain.

This year I enjoyed myself a lot with my 2 angels, family. Didn't do a lot of jalan jalan cari makan to try new food but hopefully i'll still get to next year. A lot of things want to do, but still left undone, haven't achieve. Hopefully i will.

This year, I learnt that this world really macam macam ada. All sorts, all kinds. "Expect the unexpected" is so so true. You wouldn't expect it would be like that. You wouldn't expect people to change to become a total different person. "Never judge a book by its cover" you wouldn't expect someone that you see is a good person to be the other way round. Scary... scary in a psychological way. And you wouldn't expect people to bang your car and then scold you instead of apologizing. Sigh. I also learnt not to trust strangers.

I think a lot about relationships and love. You will learn a lot after watching 'You're The Apple Of My Eye' :p The feelings when you look at the one you like walking down the aisle. No doubt will yearn to be in one, but i understand never to rush. I'm not desperate. Definitely will envy at happy couples and wish for one to care for but it's not my fate yet :) Single is good in some ways also. Love is all about trust for each other, neverending tolerance, patience and love for each other. it's not measured by how expensive the gift is, what brand of handbag or perfume. It's the communication and bond between two lovers. Something that only both of them will know and what others wouldn't understand. I don't need flowers, I don't need rings, I don't need gifts, to me, if to me, it's all the small little memories that matters the most :)

Work wise, I'm currently back at the meat section. Long way to go, long long way to go. Definitely is a challenge, the most challenging section has yet to come, but meat is still a very challenging one to me. People come, people go. Year end is super busy period. Hopefully I still can get through it all. Hmm.

Aiming a lot on travelling to at least 1 new country every year, hopefully can achieve, and hopefully got enough money to achieve :p And also to travel to new domestic nature area as well. Photography, diving, cooking, baking, travelling, blogging etc etc etc... so many things.

This year I started getting involved in marathons. Just managed to join three so far, one was the Taylor's College charity run 5km, one was Siemens Run 10km and just today I done the Nike Run 10km. Not a sporty person but it's definitely a good try. Siemens one was kinda tough, I walked more than run. Nike one i pushed myself to run as much as I could, I force myself to run uphill, I managed to run 3km without stopping, the last 4km was tough. I thought I did better than I expect but hmm, not really. Really salute those who run non stop. All these there were no finishing medals so no medals this year :( Better luck next year.

So much more to achieve, so much more to learn, so much more to be a better person. I guess things will never ever be the same anymore, hopefully scars will fade, and hopefully it will be a better tomorrow, a happier tomorrow. Just give and don't expect anything in return, you'll definitely feel better.

3.37am

Fuhh! I've lost the passion to blog. Once a frequent motion has turned into hibernation for months. Not only that but it seems like I've also lost much communications with my friends and family. At times I don't even see my parents for a couple of days even though we stay under the same roof. By the time I wake up they're already out to work, and by the time I come home they've already slept. Friends work office hours while I work till late. The only people I hang out now is colleagues during work. Really have to appreciate the moments you get to hang out with your pals.

Gonna head for Hatyai in 5 hours time. Time to clear some annual leaves as I've not touched a single day of my annual leaves until now. It was quite a dilemma to go or not to, due to some other equally important issue to me. But since it's a rare chance to go holiday with my parents and especially my baby sayang #1, I chose for the holiday. Plus, a total of 9 of us including 4 very elderly people (my grandma, my grandpa's brother and 2 sister in laws), my dad can't possibly take care all of them by himself as he has to take care of my mom and aunt and baby sayang too if I didn't go, so apart of going for holiday, I have to go to carry their stuff.

These few weeks had been busy at work. Loads of functions, and more to come. Lack of staff on the service side and I had to help out as a service associate for like one whole week. Well, not really keen on doing service but I guess it's part of the learning process too. Everyday you learn something new.

Seemed to be making a lot of mistakes these few weeks. Some at work, but mostly in personality wise. Seems that most of my actions hurt people a lot. Hmm, well, you made a mistake, then you are bound to get punishment. The punishment was miserable, to the extend that I cried at work... twice. The feeling was just horrible.

Better go get some sleep.

Gonna miss you.

Happy Tiger Year 2010!

Gong xi fa cai! It's the year of the tiger! Me year! Hippieee!
But it also means I'm older! Two dozens! Oh no...
We didn't celebrate this year due to grandpa's passing, but we still gathered for dinner on cny eve. I didn't join them for dinner cuz I was working, but I went after work, it's been ages since I see my baby, although we live so nearby.
And on the first day we gathered again at grandma's for brunch. 4th grand-auntie came to visit, and at 4pm left for MV with my two cousins to watch "72 Tenants Of Prosperity". Haha, it's darn funny. The main reason I wanna watch it because of the humongous casts of HK actors and actresses and also cuz of Wong Cho Lam. He's darn cute and short! I love his acting. For once Midvalley is jam-less on a Sunday!!! Really traffic-free! Although there's a lot of people in MV, but maybe many shops are closed so less staff parks there! I think this is the ONLY Sunday of 2010 which will be jam-less. How I wish everyday it's like that!

Still got two movies that I wanna watch! Tiger Woohoo and Valentine's Day!!! Wish I can watch V Day with my other half, but hey, i DON'T have an other half!

After movie went for dinner at Chong Qing with family. A hot day and steamboat doesn't match, but who cares! The laughter we have.

After dinner my mind keeps spinning, I don't know why but I started missing everyone... like seriously everyone that I could think of. The times we hang out together and yet we still complain time is not enough. Imagine now? I don't even see them like for years! Even if just for days but it still feels like years! And I cried... while facebooking I just cried! Cuz I miss everyone.

Had no intention to apply for leave this year... until my chef thought that my senior didn't allow me to take leave... haha... when everyone asked they were like har? no off? Well, at least the main day falls on Sunday so it's ok. Haha, hotel line is diff from office le, 6 days work and no fix leaves one ler. That's the fun part of it. Chef was nice enough to organize steamboat on the eve and we got ang pau from one of the regular guest! Wow. Special.

Do people remember what they do or said when they're drunk? Doubt so huh? Yeah, me too. Is it just me who's thinking too much?

Again, happy roarrrr year! Here's wishing you to better health, better wealth, happiness and prosperity! Eat more Tiger biscuits, drink more Tiger beers, rub Tiger balm, watch tiger shows, don't be like Tiger Woods, visit Maybank, Esso and Proton and miss the tiger baby me! Lol! Mwaks!

complicated

things didn't turn out the way I want them to be..
i thought i'm strong enough to handle these emotions..
but i'm not..
it's the first time it's happening to me..
why did you ask me all those questions?
why did you make me hesitate?
why did you make me fall deeper?
it's impossible between us... 100% impossible...
it hurts so much to be close to you...
it's complicated...
fcuk it...

Bidor 190709

It was an eye opening, stomach filling, sweaty hot trip. Dad's friend decided to bing us for a day trip to Bidor to look around. I have not gone into a plantation before, and I've not seen sooooooooo many mango trees, tapioca plants in my life before. Fantastic trip indeed. Learnt a lot, and even plucked our own ciku and nangka to eat!

Started our trip at 8am, slept all the way in the car. Dad used the old road to go to Bidor, passing by Sungkai and Trolak. Reach Bidor town around 10am and stopped by at Pusat Makanan Mee Wah for wan tan mee.





Uncle Yap (dad's friend) told us that the lady works non-stop cooking the mee from the time the stall opens until closing. As we sat down and order and eat, it was true that she did not stop down at all. One hand cooking and flipping the noodles in the boiling water, the other hand arranging the plates.


Slightly different from KL wan tan mee. Less dark soy sauce. The serving size is not that big, so it's just right for breakfast/brunch portion. And the wan tan is good!

Saw a pomelo plant and some different chili plant outside the food court. Cute! First time seeing these plants.


Next, we proceed to a new village called "Cold River New Village" 冷水河新村. Don't ask me why the name, but there must be some interesting stories behind :) Heard it used to be a very lively town, with a beautiful landscaped park at the entrance of the village, but now not being taken care of. It's situated about 5km away from the Bidor town.


Makan time again! "Thunder Tea" (lui char 擂茶) at Restoran Sui Lee 水利茶餐室.

The 'mortar' used in olden days to make the 'tea' paste. Modern use blender.

Curry chicken... so so...

The condiments for the thunder tea.

This is thus the best best BEST lui char I've ever eaten. The vege smell is not strong, not like some. Healthy, pleasant taste, fragrant, lovely, DELICIOUS!!!

Then we head to Uncle Yap's parents house. They have some tapioca plants, papaya tree and potato plants at their residence. So cool!

Pineapples at Uncle Yap's friend's house.

I think most of them really make full use of empty lands... planting veges, food, fruits and even making own detergents!


Then, he brought us to visit the plantations nearby. It was the first time that I actually see plantations. There were abundance of tapioca plants, mango trees, long beans, lady's fingers, kedondong, bittergourd etc.

I think this was long bean.

Mango trees!

Can you see the bird nests on the tree. Plenty of it. Uncle Yap told us that the nest is weaved by the male birds to attract female birds to mate. If it's a nest of a tear-drop shape, means the male bird is still looking for a mate. If there's a protuding nest underneath means it has succeeded in finding a partner. That hollow space is for the female to lay eggs.

Kedondong (sah-lei)

Tapioca plants

Can you see the lady's finger? Next to the flower in the center.

Wild nangka tree. We plucked a huge one from here!

I don't know what gourd is this called... all I know it's often used in indian cuisine.

We then visited Mrs. Yap's sister's plantation, which was quite run down, I think it was left there without anyone taking care of it. Many of the plantations were the same, weeds metres tall, fruits rotting, what a waste.

At first glance it looked like white rocks, but they're actually spoiled melons... Not sure what, but looked like winter melon.

The flower of the above melon.

Ciku tree!

Basil

Dragon fruit

Limau purut

Rambutan tree

House for the swallows to make birds nest!

So hot and sweaty! We then went back to Uncle Yap's house again to eat nangka! HUGE nangka! but yummy!


To end our trip, we head to Pun Chun for the famous wu kok and duck leg noodles... Kinda disappointed with the noodles, jatuh standard kao kao... but the wu kok is yummy stuff!



Interesting trip indeed. If only we went to Teluk Intan for chee cheong fun at night. That would be superbly perfect.

I heart traveling! I heart seeing new things! Heart heart heart. Any trip in the future please include me ya? Hehehe...